Ant Middleton the unlikely life coach
Ant Middleton is the shoutie chief instructor on the TV show “SAS: Who Dares Wins”. He will hurl abuse at trainees when they are close to their psychological limit, exposing them to increasing levels of stress in order to nudge them that bit further towards their breaking point. When I first watched the programme I thought it was physically and emotionally brutal. What the military put new recruits through in order to prepare them for combat, to a layperson, can seem brutal. Recruits are stripped of their identity and referred to as a number, they have to follow orders and do not have any choice in the matter. Their views do not count. Humiliation, threats and physical punishments are regular occurrences. Drastic measures are used to achieve discipline and order.
So who would’ve thought they’re from such a background Ant Middleton would become an emotionally intelligent self help guru, imparting his insights about positive mindset to motivate and inspire the masses!
Middleton has crammed a lot into his 40 years, he’s been a para, a marine, a special forces sniper, a diamond trader, he’s climbed Mount Everest, he sailed 4000 miles in a tiny wooden boat. However, his feet remain firmly on the ground and he talks about how the greatest successes begin with the smallest steps. “For some people, that might just be getting up each day, having a shower, cleaning your teeth and putting on fresh clothes. If you start your day off with a positive act, no matter how tiny, you want to follow it with another because it feels good. Every positive has a knock-on effect.”
Alongside his success he’s made some huge clangers, most recently he recorded an Instagram live at the start of this coronavirus epidemic in March 2020 telling people not to isolate but carry on as normal. He was filming in New Zealand, he did not appreciate the severity of the situation in the UK or the change in government guidelines. He received a lot of flak, negative press and online trolling, losing fans and credibility for giving bad and dangerous advice.
His latest book “Zero Negativity” is all about the power of positivity in embracing failure and using it to your advantage. It’s about identifying and celebrating your strengths unashamedly. He talks about how embraces criticism. If there is a person giving off negative energy in one of his live shows, he will hone in on them and it will power him to have a great show despite the scowls that are being thrown at him.
As a counsellor I was struck by how insightful Middleton is in understanding how to get the best out of himself. The chapters of the book alternate between high drama tense often life-threatening situations from his time in the military, with every day pearls of wisdom and life lessons that everyone can apply to their life irrespective of who or what they are.
Throughout his career in the military Middleton easily could have become institutionalised or taken the easy route by conforming to the hierarchy. He talked about a pack mentality that exists in the army whereby vulnerability or difference was attacked. He recalls nights when fellow soldiers returned from the pub after a night on the piss ready to let him know that him choosing not to join them was the wrong decision. His sense of independence made him more determined to rebel against the sort of person they wanted him to become.
I love the way that Middleton realises that his mind is the most important tool that he possesses. When people who haven’t trained their minds to think positively find themselves under pressure, their brain, which should be the thing that gets him out of that crisis, only says to make things worse. It is this exact mentality that made me set up Brain Train Me, I could see that many people had very little understanding of how their brains worked or how to get the best out of them. “Once you begin to exert control over your mind, even if it’s only over tiny elements, you’ll be moving in the right direction and building momentum.” It is just like every other muscle in the body, it’s something that can be built up over time. Every time you challenge yourself, every time you take yourself out of your comfort zone, every time you expose yourself to adversity you are building up your emotional resilience.
So if you are stuck for a good read this Christmas / lockdown I would highly recommend Zero Negativity.