This Valentines Day ... love yourself
Valentine’s Day is often about grand gestures, romantic dinners and expressions of love for others. This year, I invite you to shift the focus—because the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.
As a psychotherapist, I often see people searching for love and validation outside of themselves, hoping a relationship will bring fulfilment, security or healing. While love can be beautiful, true connection starts with the relationship you have with yourself. Loving yourself isn’t just about self-care routines or treating yourself to something nice (though those are wonderful too). It’s about deep acceptance, kindness, and respect for yourself, no matter where you are in life.
Why is self-love so important?
When you fully accept yourself—your strengths, your flaws, your past and your growth—you build a foundation of confidence and emotional security. Without this, relationships can become a place of seeking validation rather than genuine connection. You might tolerate unhealthy dynamics, struggle with boundaries or lose yourself in the process of loving someone else.
Mind & Emotions
💛 Practice self-compassion – Speak to yourself with kindness, especially when you make mistakes or in moments to doubt. Remember that every cell in your body is listening to your inner monologue.
🧘♀️ Prioritize your mental health – Seek therapy, journal or meditate to process emotions.
🎉 Celebrate your wins – Rather than look at all the things you did not achieve each day, acknowledge even small achievements; they matter.
🚫 Let go of self-comparison – Your journey is unique; focus on your own growth.
Body & Well-being
🍏 Nourish yourself – Eat food that makes you feel good physically and emotionally.
💤 Rest without guilt – You deserve downtime, relaxation and enough sleep. Don’t feel guilty for being instead of doing.
🚶♂️ Move in ways you enjoy – Whether it’s dancing, yoga or a walk, listen to what your body needs.
💖 Make time for self pleasure - Have a regular ritual where you treat yourself with sacred sensuality – massage yourself, masturbate, dance, enjoy your body.
Boundaries & Relationships
🚦 Say no without guilt – Protect your energy by setting boundaries. Are you doing something primarily for someone else’s benefit or your own?
💬 Surround yourself with uplifting people – Who are the people that light up your soul, inspire and motivate you? Can you spend more time with them? Distance yourself from toxic relationships.
💖 Treat yourself like a best friend – Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? Self talk really matters as it can influence mood and even physical health conditions.
Joy & Fulfilment
🎨 Engage in hobbies – Do things purely for your own enjoyment, not productivity. What is it that you enjoy doing with your free time?
✈️ Try something new – Explore new experiences, places or interests that excite you. Nudging out of your comfort zone helps you to grow new neural pathways in your brain and builds confidence
🌿 Enjoy your own company – Take yourself on a solo date or spend quiet time alone.
Self-Worth & Acceptance
🌟 Affirm your worth daily – Remind yourself: I am enough as I am.
📖 Release the past – Rather than hold on to guilt, create rituals that enable you to forgive yourself, learn and move forward with kindness. Releasing guilt through writing, music, movement, ceremonial burning or ripping up.
🌈 Embrace your uniqueness – For so much of our life we try and fit in, be like others and not draw attention to ourselves, however there’s only one you—and that’s your power. Relish your quirks and what makes you different.
Imagine if you treated yourself like someone you were deeply in love with. How would you speak to yourself? How would you care for your mind, body, and heart? This Valentine’s Day, challenge yourself to be your own greatest source of love—because you are worthy, just as you are.
So whether you're single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, remember: the most powerful love story begins with you. 💕
How will you show yourself love today? ❤️