What if I develop anthropophobia as a result of COVID-19?
This weekend there have been COVID 19 anti lockdown marches where hundreds of people gathered to object to the rights of free speech and movement being curtailed. As lockdown restrictions begin to ease, thousands of people flock to parks and places that they haven’t been allowed to go for the last couple of months. I on the other hand will need some sort of gradual exposure plan to ease me out of my safety bubble in order to be able to bear being near other people. I can’t imagine standing shoulder to shoulder in a sea of bodies at a festival or a train station again. The thought of sitting in a packed theatre fills me full of fear.
Anthropophobia is the fear of people. Relatives and friends can be perceived with the same level of threat of strangers. Phobias are normally irrationally, but the current pandemic has taught us that people can innocently spread a deadly virus. Other people have become a source of grave danger.
COVID-19 has meant that we’ve had to isolate and keep away from human contact outside the home. I’ve stuck to the social distancing recommendations and only left home for the past eight weeks for essentials. I go for the occasional run but prefer to go at 6:00am in order to reduce the likelihood of seeing people. I go to the supermarket twice a week but keep my distance. If I encounter a fellow shopper coming the wrong way down the one-way system in the aisles I get flustered and tense. If someone encroaches over the markings on the floor entering into my zone, I feel defensive and anxious, I try to edge away from them, to create the golden two metre safety zone.
Other people have now become dangerous, everyone is a potential carrier and spreader of a deadly virus. If I want to stay alive I must avoid contact with people at all costs. We are told by the government to be vigilant at all times. The lethality lurking around every corner and more specifically right outside the front door.
The constant hand washing, sanitising, wearing of face masks just increases the fear of contamination. All of the safety messages I’m bombarded with daily means my survival instinct overrides all decisions to re-enter the world and keeps me safe by avoiding people who potentially could infect me with the virus. My heightened distrust and suspicion shapes my reactions to all interactions outside the home. With such high levels of uncertainty, the only thing that I can control is to respond to threat in order to keep myself safe.
If I were working with a client crippled with anxiety I would look at us exploring tools that might help, such as breathing techniques, gradual relaxation and mindfulness, challenging anxious thoughts, shifting focus and creating contained time to confront anxieties.
My husband, upon reading this blog, tells me to get a grip. He says I am letting my emotions override the reality of the situation. He implores me to get some perspective by looking at the scientific facts and data. But I know that is easier said than done. It has taken months of lockdown for this fear to build, it will take months of easing restrictions to slowly return to social living. I am hoping that, with time, being around other people will not be a thing to be cautious about but that will be a thing of joy and celebration.